My earliest memory comes from when I was 8.
I was at a home-based daycare, surrounded by kids my age.
I was the only one^ with a fancy keypad mobile.

I opened the calendar app on the Ericsson.
I forwarded one year.
I saw 2009. I felt excited. I’d be so much bigger in 3rd standard!
I kept forwarding, faster.
The phone made a sound at every press.
I bet Pratiksha Aunty was pissed.

What about 2015?
I’d be in 10th Grade, woah. I would have fully grown up. I wonder if I I’d have started earning by now.
2030? 30 is really old. I wonder if I’d have two kids by now. I wonder if I’d have made billions from becoming an Aeronautical Engineer.
Will I have bought my mansion, so my parents can live with me?
(In 2007-8, every newspaper boasted about Aeronautical Engineer salaries. So I figured, why not become one?)

I kept moving forward.
Every following year felt like bliss,
It was like those “happily every after” movies.
Until I hit 2040.

In 2040, I’ll be 40.
My parents are around 40 right now.
My dad’s mom passed away a week ago. His dad passed away before I was even born.
He has no parents now.
Will I have no parents in 2040?

Every keypress felt a thousand times heavier,
Every passing month felt empty,
Emptier than my childhood dream.
2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045,
I closed the app.

I wish my parents lived forever.

I researched all a 9 year-old could with a keypad phone with a GPRS connection.
I came across Cryogenic chambers & remember feeling fascinated.
I even looked up its cost- it was around $60K USD per year.
Not too bad, right? Way cheaper than a mansion!

But that’s not living forever.
That’s keeping them dead forever.

+14 years. Here I am.

There’s still an irrational^^ side in me that wants immortality to be a reality.

The other side:
I don’t know.
There would no longer be Sakura moments.
My current perception of seeing Death as the greatest gift would be shattered.

The possibility fact of my loved ones dying one day is what drives my actions.
It is what makes me want to live beautifully right now, instead of delaying things for a distant future.
The future never existed.

But I still believe 150-200 healthy years spent living beautifully,doing what’s wise would speed our evolution as humans to heights that can’t be imagined.

That’s what excites me.
The fact that I can’t imagine anymore.

^ : In 2008 India, kids with personal phones were a rarity. Probably still are.
^^ : I cut irrational as I can’t tell if present me is rational

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